Rector's Blog: I am Thankful for You

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One Thanksgiving we put our names in a hat. There were four families of people together that Thanksgiving – which feels so odd to imagine heading into this quiet little COVID holiday, but there we all were crowded together in my Aunt Linda’s house on the outskirts of Decatur, Illinois. Aunt Linda made us all put our names in a hat when we got there, and then right before dinner, we had to pull a name out of the hat and say one thing we were thankful for about the person whose name we had drawn. This was our prayer that year. This came the year after she had us all hold hands and go around in a circle just naming one thing for which we were grateful.

Aunt Linda never lived this down.

She was teased mercilessly for years to come about making us all do this corny thing. Imagine the nerve of this woman who had gathered us all in her home and fed us and entertained us, only to expect us to be able to articulate gratitude and thankfulness with sincerity. It will not surprise you that I loved that Aunt Linda did this.

And I’m not trying to pick on my family, or the other families that were there. No, but it occurs to me that we humans are all fairly comfortable speaking about being thankful on a macro level – saying we’re thankful for freedom or life, or our troops or first responders. And we mean it, of course, and it makes sense to state our thanks for such things. But we have a difficult time looking one another in the eye and speaking of our thanksgiving for one another specifically and plainly.

To say, “Here are things about you for which I’m really thankful” feels suspiciously like you’re telling someone you love them. There’s a lot of vulnerability here. And we don’t always know how to handle telling people we love them. We have an even harder time being plainly told we are loved, or that someone is thankful for what we are doing. It’s like when I get a thank you note from someone: my first thought is, “Wait, do I have to write a ‘you’re welcome’ note? What happens now?"

So, it can feel scary and awkward or vulnerable. Ok. Nevertheless, articulating gratitude and thanksgiving is at the heart of the Christian tradition. One of the things we all miss most during this pandemic is the Communion meal – which we call Eucharist. And the word Eucharist literally means “thanksgiving” in Greek. The centerpiece of our worship life is a Thanksgiving meal, and this meal is directly preceded by a detailed description of the things God has done for which we are thankful. In that prayerful act, we are literally training ourselves to articulate gratitude.

Naming gratitude is important because you are actively naming things that have nothing to do with what you have earned or achieved. Think about it. You don’t thank people for giving you things you earned. You thank people when they do things that make you forget about earning. You give thanks for beauty and generosity and forgiveness and kindness and friendship and honesty and faithfulness. That right there is a list of things that you cannot earn or achieve. They are living embodiments of Grace: Gifts of God for the people of God. Gratitude is the antidote to the culture of earning. Gratitude is a recognition of just how much of your daily life is a gift. Gratitude is an acknowledgment of your belonging to God.

So, we’re heading into Thanksgiving. And it’s going to be a weird and difficult Thanksgiving. Here’s how you can spread the Gospel. Articulate gratitude. Name the things for which you are grateful. Call the people you cannot see, and don’t just tell them you wish you could be with them: Tell them you are thankful for them, and for the literal love of God, tell them why you are thankful for them. Be like Aunt Linda who didn’t care if it made things weird because it was her house and she wanted people to know that they mattered in it. This is God’s world, and you matter in it, and so do the people you love. Proclaim the Gospel through the simple, radical act of articulating gratitude, naming thanksgiving, speaking love.

If you are reading this, I know you care about the Church of the Redeemer and I know you even care about me. I want to thank you for that. This community is a source of great strength for me during difficult times, and you are a part of the reason that is true. Thank you. I am grateful for your faithfulness, for your kindness, for your love. I am thankful for you.